Repent, Repent!

A British Landlord has been told he must evict his tenants - because they are not nuns.

The building is a former convent but has been converted into 15 apartments. However, the council zoning only allows it to be used for religious purposes. Council officials have told him that he has no permission to change its use to allow non-nuns to reside there.

You know, I'm torn here. People can't just go around re-zoning their buildings for whatever purpose they see fit. But he has a point when he asks, "They are all decent professional people but I cannot make them into nuns. Why should the council have a say in what the tenants do for a living?"

Perhaps the council should have examined who allowed the building to be converted, rather than spending ratepayers' time on arguing the allowed use of a convent!

Sacked For Telling Porky Pies!

A Fox News reporter in Baltimore has been sacked after posting a video on YouTube that featured an off-colour remark.

Reporter John Sanders inserted words "bright blue scrotum" from a report about a monkey into a report discussing US Attourney-General Eric Holder, then posted it on YouTube.

The voice on the video, John Gibson, is furious. He and the station are being bombarded with hundreds of abusive comments from the public who are unaware the video is a fake.

Read more on the FOX website

The part that has me shaking my head though - this is being branded a racist remark. WHAT THE? I suppose people are jumping from the fact that it was about a monkey, to the fact that Eric Holder is black. HELLO PEOPLE - the comment was about BLUE. Feel free to get all uppity and offended at the plight of the blue people of this world. Or the poor monkeys being associated with humans. But otherwise, find something useful to get enraged about, like knitting or something.

Give Me Back My Sausage!

Thieves have stolen a sausage from a butcher in Queensland, Australia.

But in a meaty twist - it was the 40-kilogram fibreglass advertising sign from the butchery's roof.

At two metres tall (almost seven feet), a giant sausage is not the sort of thing that would be too easy to hide in someone's pocket. The sausage's owner, Mark Nolan, has received ransom calls, but the sausage thieves say that his offer of 10 kilograms of sausages was not good enough.

Nolan believes it's a hoax call, since they wanted to meet up at a tourist landmark The Big Orange.

Brisbane radio station MMM has offered a $500 reward for the sausage's safe return. Meanwhile, it's a likely bet that the owner has garnered enough extra business to pay for its replacement anyway!

(To protect the sausage's identity, photograph is posed by models.)

Librarian Name Facelift?

Edinburgh Council has announced plans to bring Librarians into the 21st Century - by renaming them Audience Development Officers.

(I'll just give you a moment to digest that news.)

I'm struggling here with what to say about this piece of weird news. The librarians themselves are disgusted, and are considering going on strike.

Really! A librarian is someone who looks after a library. Why the need to change what works? Next thing they'll be renaming teachers to Education Facilitators and theatre ushers to Ticketholder Seat Finders.

Paper Houses

Germany's famous Bauhaus University has invented a house made of paper.

The "Universal World House" has already been road-tested in some of the worst slums in South America and passed with flying colours.

The material used in the construction of the houses mimics the honeycomb pattern used in the manufacture of aeroplanes, and the houses will cost £3,000 each.

Three thousand pounds? For paper? I kinda wish there was a picture to go with this story... I should hope the homes are HUGE for that price. Still, it's a novel idea with good intentions!

Full Story: Telegraph UK

The Bingo Marker of DOOM™

A couple in Illinois have been arrested after a fracas involving an attack with... a Bingo Marker.

The couple told investigators that the 22yo woman arrived home from bingo and the 23yo man refused to let her into the house. From here their accounts differ, with each accusing the other of being the first to attack with the Bingo Marker of DOOM™.

Ya know, I KNEW bingo could get dirty. You've never seen rage until an 83-year-old lady gets accused of cheating by her 87-year-old tablemate.

The couple have both been arrested. The twenty-somethings, not the eighty-somethings.


PS. I found this pic on a page where the poster felt that it resembled a sex toy.

I laughed

A German presenter has slapped her co-host when he grabbed her breasts on live television.

Hans Blomberg and Susanka Bersin were announcing the winners of a song contest when he declared that the two greatest points were still with him - reaching out to fondle her breasts. She retaliated with a shocked palm to the face and then called him a retard.

Check out the video! Go girlfriend!



higher quality video

For GREAT Health Care, call 1800...

When it comes to something important like health and emergency medicine, it's kind of important that you can reach someone by phone. I had the joy once of dialling the wrong number instead of the hospital, and since I was quite sick, it seriously took me quite a while to realise that a robotic voice asking me to enter a pin was NOT the local hospital.

So the people who make home phone books kinda have to be careful. What's not so cool, then, is when a hospital has the wrong number in the phone book. It's not funny. Oh, but once we're over the fact the number is wrong... it's funny where that number actually leads to.

Indiana's Monroe Hospital has a listed number that connects to a phone sex line.

Either someone's going to get fired, or the perp has a warped sense of humour. Or both.

Where Is My Bus?

The Chicago Transit Authority has a website called Bus Tracker, which allows surfers to keep an eye on where buses are on a map, and when they're expected to arrive at each stop. I'd imagine this would be great for the impatient Chicago traveller who realises a bus is overdue, who checks the site with a mobile phone.

What surprised the CTA, however, wasn't how popular the site has become. It's who is clicking in that surprised them. They've recorded more than 15,000 hits in just over a month from - Norweigians.

And what's more, three-quarters of them hang around for more than 15 minutes!

Them Scandinavians have some weird habits...

Bushfire Appeal

Are you in Australia?
Is this you?

I'd really like to help out, but to be honest, I am not that rich.
You know, it's sad and all, but it's not in my street and life goes on.
I don't really want to part with my hard earned cash.
There's a credit crunch you know? The government will help them.
Poor Bushfire people, but I don't want to use my credit card online.
I really can't be bothered.

Don't feel guilty, do it the easy way that costs you nothing!

Coles Supermarkets all over Australia will be donating 100% of their store profits for this Friday, 13th February, 2009. If you don't believe me, check out their website at www.Coles.com.au. All you need to do is do your normal grocery shopping there on Friday instead of a different day or shop. I'll be there and Coles isn't even where I normally buy from. I'll even be there without my car, and taking a taxi to get the stuff home!

Please, I rarely ask people to send stuff on, but let everyone know about this. Get into your email now and spread the word, or click on the little envelope below to send it from here.

Let's turn a Black Friday into a good one.

~ Elisa

cross-posted to um... everywhere

Got Life?

This radiographer might not have one, but there may well be people who owe theirs to this kind of dedication.

Peter Cartwright, from Ashford in the UK, works 55 miles from his home, and most days catches the train to work at 5.30am. However, recently, the snow and ice had disrupted public transport and he found his train cancelled. He called work, took the 6.45 train as far as he could, then walked 10 miles to a transport area, where he stopped for breakfast.

Asking around, he found a van driver who took him part of the way, then he walked another five miles, before finding a passing motorist who took him to the Tube. Cartwright then caught the train, and arrived at work at 2pm. His work day was due to end at 5. Fearing that the ice would continue to mess with his transport to work, he slept on a mattress in the X-ray department for the next three nights.

The 52-year-old said, "I didn’t want to let my colleagues down. Besides, I love my job and like a challenge. My colleagues were pleased that I had made the effort to come in, although I am angry with myself for not coming in on Sunday night to avoid being delayed."

This kind of dedication makes for one amazing story!

~ Elisa

Victim Outsmarts Criminals

Alan Heuss, from Ohio in the USA, was quietly sitting in his BMW the other evening when a thug with a gun pointed it into the car and ordered him to relinquish the wheels. Along with the car, the thief scored himself some cash and a mobile phone.

So Heuss did what anyone would do. He reported it to the police, then sought out his friends to try and deal with it all via a few cold ales.

But one of his friends had other ideas, and said, 'I'm going to text these guys... I'm going to tell them I've got a bunch of hot chicks, as if I'm texting you, and that we've got some drugs, too.'

His friend fired off the text message, pretending that he had no idea of the carjacking, and offered to send the hot chicks around with the drugs.

The carjackers took the bait and texted their location.

Unfortunately, instead of a few hot chicks arriving with the goods, a few cops arrived to take the goods away.

Strange News: 1 point.
Good Guy: 1.
Dumb Criminal: 0.

~ Elisa

It Tasted HOW Good?

The owners of a Japanese sushi bar recently paid 9.63 million Yen for a tuna. That's $104,700 US dollars, folks. For one fish.

Think about that for a moment. Ok, I know the tuna weighed 128 kg, but really. Can anyone explain to me how a FISH is worth $370 per pound?

Is it gold-plated? Diamond-encrusted?

Weird sushi bar owners... weird price... weird story...

~ Elisa

Google Is Dangerous!

Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle-K, in the words of Ted Theodore Logan.

While queueing a post about a ninja and searching for an accompanying image, I discovered that all Google's search results for "ninja" had the warning: "This Site May Harm Your Computer". Being an online geekery fanatic, I did what any normal geek does: I jumped into chat with my significant other to see if I was the only one getting this result (aka "have I got a virus?").

No, I did not, since he turned up Disney as another site that was apparently extremely dangerous.

However, I just had to share the best result I found. (Click my screenie below to see what it's all about.) Google will kill you. Google is a ninja that will come after you in your sleep. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

~ Elisa

cross-posted to Weird Search