11 May, 2010

Lives Needed

Some people just can't be satisfied. Take the case of New Zealand lady Wendy McMahon, whose story appeared in stuff.co.nz.

Feeling "a bit peckish", Ms McMahon opened a can of pear halves and helped herself. When she went back for a second helping, she found this.


Instead of laughing (the normal response), she didn't merely slap her cheeks Home Alone-style and scream at this "demonic" pear. She took photos, contacted the media and listed it for public auction. She called the company and complained - and they weren't quite sure her claim was legit.

I can kinda understand that the company was skeptical about it. I mean, cmon, it does look like someone made it for a laugh. But despite the skepticism, the manufacturer offered not only to replace the pears - but they offered a $15 voucher.

And that should have been case closed, don't you think?

But no. This was Not Good Enough, dear readers.

When she got no answers, she called them again. In return, they asked that she give them the pear (which she did). McMahon was then offered a voucher for $30.

This was still Not Good Enough. She has demanded her pear back and claims the company's response is inadequate.

Seriously?

IT'S ONLY A PEAR.

19 April, 2010

My Saucepan is Too Small!


An Australian book publisher has been left red-faced after one recipe slipped past the proofreader.

Penguin Group's "Pasta Bible" has been sent to the pulping machine after it emerged that the tagliatelle called for "salt and freshly ground black people".

7,000 copies were destroyed, but copies already delivered to bookshops will not be recalled, with a representative stating that it would be too difficult to do so.

I'd like to hope nobody starts a tantrum over this. Regardless of a person's colour, they'd have to have a fairly boring life to think this is worth getting upset about. After all, it's pretty funny to try and imagine ANY colour person fitting into a plate.

Thanks to the BBC

11 April, 2010

Mauno!

A Finnish town is holding a festival which includes a search for the country's best tango singer. As part of their quest, hopefuls have recorded a video audition which the public can vote on, and the winners get to try their luck in front of the judges.

But when they put the idea together I'll bet the organisers never dreamed this would happen - the entrant currently in first place is absolutely, positively awful. His name is Mauno Hakkila, and not only is he WAY ahead in the votes, people are so determined to keep him at the top that the top five contestants begin with M, A, U, N and O - to spell out his name.

You can vote for him once per day by clicking Skip Advertisement and then Äänestä on the next page at http://linkb.com/FKZOQ


It's a Sign!

It's a sign from God! And he's appearing so that he can tell you um... that um... well you should um... well, I suppose that you shouldn't fall asleep while there's stuff cooking on the stove. Mmmm, Bacon.

Jesus in the Frypan - Telegraph.co.uk

24 August, 2009

Don't Complain In Public...

...if you hate your mother-in-law, that is.

Sunda Croonquist is being sued by hers, for daring to make comments where her mother-in-law was the butt of the jokes. Croonquist is half-Swedish, half-African-American, was raised in a Catholic household and married a Jew, so she has plenty of raw material just in her cultural background alone. She says the family all laughed along at her routines in the past, presumably knowing it was all comedic license.

But her husband's family stopped laughing once the material appeared online. Apparently it's all very funny and absurd until your neighbours know she's talking about you.

My personal opinion? Croonquist has been doing these jokes for years. Just how many Jewish men are out there whose wives are Swede-African Catholics who converted to Judaism? Yup folks... their friends knew she was talking about them years ago. Why it took them so long to suddenly get offended is beyond me.

I think Croonquist sums it up well: if she had realised they would eventually sue her, she should have tried to make a worse first impression... a gold tooth, one pants leg rolled up, and saying, "Yo, yo, yo. Shalom, y'all. 'Sup?"

22 August, 2009

Keep Fido Away From Daisy


London farmers have issued a stern warning: Don't walk your dog near our cows.

But rather than a threat, it's a community service announcement. Apparently, people are being increasingly trampled by vicious cows protecting their calves. Dog owners in particular are more likely to be in danger, since the animals believe the dog might be threatening their young.

Their advice, if you must walk near cattle, is to let your dog off the lead. The cows aren't interested in the owner, only the dog.

Thanks to Reuters.

20 August, 2009

The New Pocket Twist...

I'm one of those people who subscribe to being "Alert but not alarmed". Yeah, thanks very much, John Howard. But anyway. When I'm out shopping, for example, my wallet never lives in my back pocket, and if it's in my bag then my bag will have a lock. I don't spend every moment looking for thieves, but I prefer not to lay out the welcome mat. Pickpockets are all over the world and you just never know.

But this lot in London have turned the tables. According to Reuters, 20 former pickpockets have turned over a new leaf and are now slipping money back into unsuspecting pockets.

It's being funded by a telecomms company as a way to brighten up a random person's day. But unfortunately I don't think they take requests...





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