Personal Responsibility Be D*mned!

When a guy is pleasant enough to bash his wife, you know whose fault it is? United Airlines'.

Yoichi Shimamoto has been charged after attacking his wife at San Francisco Airport's Customs, but claims he did this because UA gave him alcohol during his flight.

A spokesman for UA said, "We believe a lawsuit which suggests we are somehow responsible for the consequences of a passenger's physical assault on his own wife is without any merit whatsoever."

Personally, I find it to be very odd news. UA cannot be to blame. I'm waiting for this guy to lodge a lawsuit against San Francisco Airport. I mean, obviously it's their fault, because they allowed him to walk into Customs. Or, it might be the fault of the country he arrived from, for allowing him to bring souvenirs, which necessitated him waiting in line at Customs. The company who laid the carpet at Customs might be responsible for the attack, since this man walked on that carpet. Or possibly, it's the fault of the guy who was in the Customs line in front of him, for being in front of him.

~ Elisa

Well, I Was Running Late...

It's a fairly common scenario. You miss the bus and you're running late, so you just hop into the car and drive yourself there instead.

Well, if you're an adult, that is. If you're six years old, maybe not so much.

One such boy in Northumberland County, Virginia, felt that was the best way to avoid missing breakfast and early morning PE at school. He made it almost six miles, running off the road several times, before hitting a pole. He then got out of the car and continued his journey on foot, more concerned with being late than having crashed the car.

He told police that he'd learned to drive by playing (among other things) Grand Theft Auto.

His parents, who were asleep at the time, have both been charged, and the boy and his younger brother are now in care. Looks like staying in bed while your 6-year-old sends himself to school in the morning, and allowing him to play GTA, kinda clashes with the child protection authorities' ideals.

~ Elisa

Inconspicuous Vehicle

If you really, really want to get across town to see your girlfriend, and you haven't got your own car, how do you get there? Train? Nah. Steal your own set of wheels. And, to blend in with the traffic, how about a small, ordinary car?

No way. You take a bright red double-decker bus.

And in the interests of safety, make sure you're drunk.

Also, keep yourself well-hidden, by going shopping in your bus.

Police in the UK intercepted a 17-year-old on such a mission recently, and he was caught not because he crashed the bus, picked up passengers, blocked traffic or caused danger - but because he stopped at a service station trying to buy cigarettes, and asked for them to be put on the account of the bus company.

What's more, he'd only just been released 12 hours earlier, for stealing... another bus. The first time he was also drunk, managing to drive the wrong way through a roundabout, then cruising through a fence.

Ah, to be young and carefree again.

~ Elisa

Darwin Award Nominee

This guy almost earned himself a Darwin Award.

Aussie Greg Robertson went to grab a dropped spearfishing gun, but he was hit by a wave and the gun went off - firing directly into his thigh and missing his genitals by centimetres.

A friend who witnessed the accident unscrewed the spear from the gun but was (fortunately!) unable to remove the barb from his leg.

Lucky guy!

~ Elisa

Community Service Announcement: If anyone gets ANYTHING stuck in their body like this, don't try and remove it. It might be plugging a gushing artery. People have even survived speared objects directly through their hearts, simply because nobody tried to remove the items before getting to hospital.

Political Correctness Gone Mad!

The UK's Minister of Justice has directed prison officers NOT to refer to their charges as "inmates" - because it might offend them.

In a move being branded "nonsense", the MoJ has insisted that the term is not consistent with respect and dignity, and advised them to use the term "prisoner" instead.

Now, the "preferred term" is the thing that gets to me. How they can seriously expect people to prefer being called Prisoner to Inmate is beyond me. "Prisoner" is a continual reminder that they can't leave and are held against their will. "Inmate" carries a far more acceptable connotation - that they are simply in a place, alongside other people. In the same way that "flatmate", "housemate" and "workmate" are used.

I know which term I'd prefer!

~ Elisa

Quick, Send The Fire Brigade...

From the Telegraph.co.uk:

"Five fire vehicles, including a heavy rescue unit, two police cars and an ambulance were dispatched to the Yorkshire Dales village of Marrick after [an emergency] caller reported seeing a light aircraft or hang glider plunge into woods."

When police arrived on the scene they discovered that the aircraft was, erm, probably not in desperately urgent need of assistance.

Apparently Santa's flying reindeer failed him, because the aircraft was a huge blow-up Santa Claus.

I hope everyone had a good laugh!

~ Elisa

How Not To Impress Your Girlfriend

Step 1. Pour petrol (gasoline) all over your arm.
Step 2. Set it alight.

Swedish Man Burned - story thanks to Red Orbit

~ Elisa

Think You're Having A Bad Day?

Spare a thought for this unlucky guy. A snowplow operator in Minnesota decided it would be a nice idea to clear the snow and ice off a boat ramp.

Unfortunately, snow and ice is, well, slippery. That's kinda why snowplows get rid of it.

The driver found this out the hard way, when the plow slid straight down the ramp, flew off the end onto the ice, broke through the lake surface and sunk to the bottom.

His boss would have been less than impressed at $200,000 worth of plow on the bottom of a lake!

More at the Wis10 site.

~ Elisa

PS. Image is of Lake Michigan.

Thousand-Mile Search For Love

Wei Jiaming set off from Guangzhou, China, on a 1,200-mile bike ride that she hoped would make her famous and find her true love. Her website attracted more than 1,000 interested men, and she had mentally prepared herself for the meet and greet at the finish line, expecting that quite a few suitors would be waiting for her.

Unfortunately for her, the reception crowd at the end had a bit of a disappointing surprise.

Story at Telegraph.co.uk

~ Elisa

Trying To Out Do Celebrities?

New Zealand woman Tomicina Davoren has named her newborn baby daughter Zealand-New.

As explanation, the mother noted that she chose it because it was unusual. The name was suggested by the child's grandmother.

Baby Zealand-New Sharron Phyllis Atareta Davoren joins siblings Rlexuz Toara Chantz Te Moni, Mikaere Morgan Te Moni and Korizma-Lake Vonnita Manaaki Te Moni.

Honestly, what was wrong with Moon Unit, or Dweezil, or Fifi Trixiebell, or Bronx Mowgli, or Heavenly Hiraanii Tiger Lily?

~ Elisa

Oops, Sorry About That, Mrs Peabody...

The best way to train firefighters how to smash a front door down is to do it on a real house, right? Of course.

This is only a problem when, say, the house belongs to somebody and there are four small children living in it.

See what happened at CBS News

~ Elisa

Are You a Popping Fanatic?

Are you one of those people who like popping bubble wrap? It's ok, don't be ashamed, there are a lot of people just like you.

So many that a guy in New York has created a calendar letting you pop each day to mark it off. And he's sold thousands of the things.

Check out the story here
(CBS News / The Associated Press)

~ Elisa

Oh my...

...and I thought that meat-scented cologne was bad!

Sports Interactive, makers of the Football Manager video game, have released an aftershave scent that mimics grass, sweat, boot leather and heat spray. Not only that, they created it from samples from real change rooms!

Ewwwww.

I mean, don't get me wrong. "Clean" sweat on a man can smell nice. But come on. Sweat, blood, mud, stinky shoes, heat rub, grass, grotty underpants and stale deodorant spray? I'm just not feeling the love. This is one Christmas present that won't be gracing the floor under my tree.

~ Elisa

How Not to Clear Your Porch of Snow

Snow + Wooden Porch + Blowtorch = ...um, a whole lot of excitement.

Read More at CBS News

~ Elisa

Smart Bank Robber

Just a bit of a tip if you're planning to rob a bank: Don't write your stickup note on anything that might identify you. You know, like something that has your company name. Or, something that has your full name and address.

Bank Robber Leaves His Name

~ Elisa

Diplomacy at its finest

So if you're a bus driver, and one of your passengers leaves a filthy, disgusting and foul mess on a seat, how would you deal with that? Maybe ask them to clean it up? If that fails, I suppose you could report the incident to police, then go at the mess yourself with a sponge and bucket?

Naw, where's the fun in that? And besides, what if it was just kids, and it was just a few cookie crumbs? I mean, that's hardly difficult to clean, or stinky, or messy, right? Well, if you're today's star bus driver, you stick a knife in their faces and threaten to slash their wrists.

Driver threatened students over crumbs

Thanks to the Miami Herald.

~ Elisa